Sisters often share a bond that’s like no other.
Filled with love. Lots of laughter. And plenty of teasing, snarkiness and clothes borrowing that no one else can get away with.
And in today’s post I’d like to share 105 of the cutest, most sarcastic and funny sister quotes.
Use one or a few of them in a card, in a text, on social media to share a relatable and funny moment and of course also in real life when you get the chance.
I hope you’ll find something here to make you and your sister laugh.
Hilarious Sister Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
“If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she’s wearing your best sweater.”
– Pam Brown
“I grew up believing my sister was from the planet Neptune and had been sent down to Earth to kill me. I believed this because my sister Emily convinced me of it when I was a toddler. There’s a part of me that still believes it.”
– Zooey Deschanel
“I lived with older sisters, and I’d bang pots and pans when they slept.”
– Brian Quinn
“When I was really young, my sister and I would create different characters with our Barbie dolls – I’d be the crazy diva Barbie and she’d be the homeless Barbie.”
– Jordana Brewster
“The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.”
– Oscar Wilde
“When I was younger, I actually had a ghost face mask, and I stood in my sister’s room in the corner for, like, half an hour until she saw in the reflection, me behind her, and she freaked out and started slapping me.”
– Rory Culkin
“My sister and I had a lemonade stand – with a two-drink minimum.”
– Wendy Liebman
“My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She’s an actress, she just never gets called to the set.”
– Mitch Hedberg
“When I was younger, my sister thought it was funny to pretend to punch me in the face because my mom was concerned about my teeth falling out. They were loose for a long time, and she knocked out my teeth.”
– Amy Adams
“I’m unbelievably ticklish. When I was a little kid, my sisters would hold me down and tickle me until I peed my pants.”
– Ronda Rousey
“My sister saved me from drowning. I shouted at her because she pulled me out of the pool and hurt my arm.”
– Sarah Millican
“Me and my sister made up a game called ‘Milky Cow.’ We were on holiday in France when I was 12, and there was a kid who had bovine features, and every time we went past her, we’d say, ‘There’s Milky Cow.’”
– Greg Davies
“When I was young, I told my sister that she had chunky thighs. She slapped me and I cried. She feels bad about it to this day, but I feel worse.”
– Jon Heder
“Me and my sisters were so awful. One nanny, we loved, but we hacked her email and sent her boyfriend lots of weird messages, and we once actually locked her in the toilet, too.”
– Suki Waterhouse
“My older sister showed me ‘Hellraiser’ when I was, like, 4, and ‘Friday the 13th.’ She kind of scarred me, but I like watching scary movies with people because you’re together in this scary situation.”
– Evan Peters
“I would kind of torture her. I was the older sister, and it was just the two of us. So I would play mental games with her.”
– Emily Deschanel
“I don’t know how I didn’t kill any one of my sisters. For this one horror film we were making, I made my own harness for my sister. I wrapped her in all these ropes, but then also put a noose around her neck and hung her from a tree.”
– Alexa Vega
“I have three older sisters who, when we were children, used to hold me down on a bad day and put make-up all over me, so I’ve had an aversion to it all my life.”
– James Nesbitt
“I made my older sister cry playing Monopoly once.”
– Johanna Konta
“My sisters said, ‘Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.’”
– Paul Lynde
“My sister could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. She would fall asleep on the train. Me, I never slept. Still, I have a hard time sleeping. But I used to admire her ability to wake up late.”
– Cheri Oteri
Short, Sweet and Funny Sister Quotes
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”
– Pam Brown
“More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you’ve been bad and good.”
– Linda Sunshine
“The only person I lie to is my little sister, when I steal her clothes.”
– Kendall Jenner
“A sister will hold your hair back when you’re sick and then tell everyone at Thanksgiving dinner about it.”
– Unknown
“Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.”
– Charles M. Schulz
“A sister is both your mirror – and your opposite.”
– Elizabeth Fishel
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”
– Charlotte Gray
“Big sisters exaggerate.”
– Alfie Allen
“A sister is the cure for swollen heads and ego trips.”
– Pam Brown
“Of two sisters one is always the watcher, one the dancer.”
– Louise Glück
“My sister borrowed my clothes so often growing up that I started calling my closet ‘our closet’ and she started calling it ‘her second closet.’”
– Sandra Shea
“My sister is a mess. I love her to death, but she is a mess.”
– RJ Mitte
“Everybody has fights with their sister. And both say they won.”
– Unknown
“I got four sisters. They’re all very fierce.”
– Chad Coleman
“There is no place for secrets in sisterhood.”
– Erin Forbes
“The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in trouble.”
– Clara Ortega
“A sister is the only person who can insult you for ten minutes straight and then ask to borrow your favorite dress.”
– Valerie Simone
“We may look old and wise to the outside world. But to each other, we are still in junior school.”
– Charlotte Gray
“Got your mama and sister dabbing.”
– Quavo
“Little sisters can be a pain, but the big sister heroine worship can’t be beat.”
– Allison M. Lee
“My sister knows exactly how to push my buttons because she’s been there from the very beginning.”
– Unknown
Funny and Meaningful Sister Quotes That Will Make You Smile
“At this point, none of us are sure why we fight. We’re sisters. We need no good reason to fight, even though we have plenty of them.”
– Ken Wheaton
“Your sister knows which hot buttons to push to get you going, but she also knows how to be a support and encouragement when you go through difficult times.”
– Byron Pulsifer
“Acquaintances were always on their best behavior, but sisters loved each other enough to say anything.”
– Lauren Weisberger
“Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship.”
– Margaret Mead
“A sister is a dearest friend, a closest enemy, and an angel at the time of need.”
– Debasish Mridha
“Your sister knows everything to say to piss you off. But sisters tend to be each other’s biggest champion and also their hardest critics.”
– Erin Foster
“Don’t talk about my sister; don’t play with me about my sister. If you do, you’ll see another side of me.”
– Beyoncé
“My sister travels with me, and she’s the person who keeps me in line, whether I like it or not. I trust her and also have a good, healthy fear of her.”
– Katy Perry
“Sisters annoy, interfere, criticize. Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks. Borrow. Break. Monopolize the bathroom. Are always underfoot. But if catastrophe should strike, sisters are there. Defending you against all comers.”
– Pam Brown
“Nobody fights you like your own sister; nobody else knows the most vulnerable parts of you and will aim for them without mercy.”
– Jojo Moyes
“We’ll always fight, but we’ll always make up as well. That’s what sisters do: we argue, we point out each other’s frailties, mistakes, and bad judgment, we flash the insecurities we’ve had since childhood, and then we come back together. Until the next time.”
– Lisa See
“She’s the toughest player I ever played in my life, and the best person I know.”
– Serena Williams
“As you’re growing up and you’re close, you can’t trust anyone the way you trust your sister, but also they have the power to wound you in ways no one else really does.”
– Ally Condie
“I don’t believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.”
– Maya Angelou
“Only a sister, an alternative self, could inspire such a sordid mix of disgust and envy.”
– Namwali Serpell
“You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts. You need her, as she needs you.”
– George R. R. Martin
“We know one another’s faults, virtues, catastrophes, mortifications, triumphs, rivalries, desires, and how long we can each hang by our hands to a bar. We have been banded together under pack codes and tribal laws.”
– Rose Macaulay
“They’re my sisters. We don’t always like each other, but we’ll always love each other.”
– Gina Schock
“My sisters, we didn’t like each other as kids. We were scared of each other, I think, but we’ve grown to love each other.”
– Dorothy Allison
“I get in fights with my sister all the time. She comes on the road with me and we fight – like sisters do.”
– Florence Welch
“We shared a room, you stole my toys, and then my clothes, but best friends we became.”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“But most are like my sister and me – linked by volatile love, best friends who make other best friends ever so slightly less best.”
– Patricia Volk
Cute, Sarcastic and Funny Sister Quotes for Birthday Cards
“A sister will always notice her sister’s first gray hairs with glee.”
– Allison M. Lee
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”
– Pearl Cleage
“My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time.”
– Linda Sunshine
“When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us?”
– Pam Brown
“Sisters don’t need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks – expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs – that can undermine any tale you’re telling.”
– Pam Brown
“What are sisters for if not to point out the things the rest of the world is too polite to mention.”
– Claire Cook
“A sister smiles when one tells one’s stories – for she knows where the decoration has been added.”
– Chris Montaigne
“A sister is a friend you don’t have to avoid the truth with.”
– Michelle Malm
“One of the best things about being an adult is the realization that you can share with your sister and still have plenty for yourself.”
– Betsy Cohen
“Sisters. Because we all need someone who will defend us behind our back and then call us on our shit to our face.”
– Brooke Hampton
“If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.”
– Linda Sunshine
“A sister is like yourself in a different movie, a movie that stars you in a different life.”
– Deborah Tannen
“That’s the best thing about little sisters. They spend so much time wishing they were elder sisters that in the end they’re far wiser than the elder ones could ever be.”
– Gemma Burgess
“Your sister’s advice, solicited or unsolicited, carries weight.”
– Lorraine Bodger
“Sis, I look at you and see your wrinkles, I wonder when they happened. It is as if they just appeared overnight. You can’t be getting older than me, can you?”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“When I think of the funny, goofy and ridiculous things we did as kids, I wonder how we turned out so well. Perhaps age has truly matured us, then, maybe not.”
– Kate Summers
“A toast once heard: ‘To my big sister, who never found her second Easter egg until I’d found my first.’”
– Robert Brault
“If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: ‘Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma.’”
– Linda Sunshine
“As anybody with two older sisters can tell you, a closed door is like a red rag to a bull. It cannot go unchallenged.”
– Alan Bradley
“Eleanor Roosevelt once said, ‘Women are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water!’ Well, my dear sister, no wonder we are looking like an old teabag, we have been in lots of hot water together!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
Sweet and Heartfelt Quotes on Sisterly Love
“When my sister, Joan, arrived I asked if I could swap her for a rabbit. When I think what a marvelous friend she’s been, I’m so glad my parents didn’t take me at my word.”
– Maeve Binchy
“Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.”
– Amy Li
“My sister and I are as different as night and day and we look at the world differently. But, we listen to each others’ complaints and the joys with open arms. I am there for her and she is there for me and there is an unbreakable bond.”
– Angela Cartwright
“Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow.”
– Benjamin Disraeli
“Bless you, my darling, and remember you are always in the heart – oh tucked so close there is no chance of escape – of your sister.”
– Katherine Mansfield
“You’re not my best friend. You’re my sister, and that’s more.”
– Jenny Han
“A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves – a special kind of double.”
– Toni Morrison
“There’s nobody in the world that knows me better than my sister.”
– Tia Mowry
“My sister and I are so close that we finish each other’s sentences and often wonder whose memories belong to whom.”
– Shannon Celebi
“Sisters make the best friends in the world.”
– Marilyn Monroe
“You keep your past by having sisters. As you get older, they’re the only ones who don’t get bored if you talk about your memories.”
– Deborah Moggach
“Is solace anywhere more comforting than that in the arms of a sister.”
– Alice Walker
“An older sister is a friend and defender – a listener, conspirator, a counsellor and a sharer of delights. And sorrows too.”
– Pam Brown
“How do people make it through life without a sister?”
– Sara Corpening
“Help one another is part of the religion of our sisterhood.”
– Louisa May Alcott
“As I grew up, one of my strongest allies was my sister.”
– Patti Smith
“Unconditional love: the definition of sister.”
– Alicia Cook
“We acquire friends and enemies, but our sisters come with the territory.”
– Evelyn Loeb
“Sisters will always love you tomorrow no matter what you do today.”
– Marinela Reka
“I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness.”
– Emily Dickinson
“She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling even in the dark.”
– Barbara Alpert
Want more inspiration and laughs? Then have a look at these short sister quotes, the funny quotes about aging and getting older here and also this one with plenty of funny friendship quotes.