It’s a too early morning and you drag yourself up for another day in school.
Maybe you feel a bit unmotivated or just plain tired or stressed out about an upcoming exam.
Either way, I hope today’s post can help you out. In it I want to share 101 of the most relatable and funny school quotes.
Sayings that’ll make you laugh and help you release a bit of stress. Ones you can use for your yearbook page or Instagram posts.
And fun ones you can send to friends to spread the positive vibes.
Funny School Quotes on Education
“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”
– Albert Einstein
“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”
– Andy McIntyre
“Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.”
– E.C. McKenzie
“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.”
– Oscar Wilde
“The trouble with school is they give you the answer, then they give you the exam. That’s not life.”
– Ziad K. Abdelnour
“Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”
– Fran Lebowitz
“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.”
– Will Durant
“We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.”
– Peter De Vries
“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
– Mark Twain
“Education costs money, but then so does ignorance.”
– Claus Moser
“Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today’s world—an assigned parking space.”
– Gene Perret
“A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
“In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”
– Tom Bodett
“To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.”
– A.A. Milne
“I teach high school math. I sell a product to a market that doesn’t want it, but is forced by law to buy it.”
– Dan Meyer
“You can’t learn in school what the world is going to do next year.”
– Henry Ford
“School is the advertising agency which makes you believe that you need the society as it is.”
– Ivan Illich
“People learn something every day, and a lot of times it’s that what they learned the day before was wrong.”
– Bill Vaughan
“A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.”
– George Santayana
“The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.”
– Aristotle
Short and Hilarious School Quotes for Students
“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
– Gracie Allen
“School means work and work means death. Let’s all go take a nap.”
– Emma Shannon
“In school one learns to ask stupid questions of life.”
– Marty Rubin
“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”
– Bill Watterson
“My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary column.”
– Norm Crosby
“School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence.”
– H.L. Mencken
“In school they told me practice makes perfect. And then they told me nobody’s perfect, so then I stopped practicing.”
– Steven Wright
“Show me the man who enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.”
– Robert Morley
“It’s easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school.”
– Laurie Halse Anderson
“Graduation is just a fancy ceremony where adults clap because you’re finally leaving.”
– Unknown
“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.”
– Hector Berlioz
“There is nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“School is learning things you don’t want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn’t know, while working toward a future you don’t know will ever come.”
– Dave Kellett
“There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done: school and prison.”
– William Glasser
“In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobody’s perfect, so why practice?”
– Billie Joe Armstrong
“School is one long illness with symptoms that switch every five minutes so you think it’s getting better or worse. But really it’s the same thing for years and years.”
– Helen Oyeyemi
“I never did very well in math – I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.”
– Calvin Trillin
“If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.”
– Daniel Jones
“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
Funny and Inspirational First Day of School and Back to School Sayings
“Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.”
– Bill Dodds
“The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn’t stop until you get to school.”
– Milton Berle
“Work hard, nap hard.”
– Demi Lovato
“I said school starts tomorrow. I didn’t say I was going to be there.”
– Kim Harrison
“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.”
– Edgar W. Howe
“You’d think parents are just dying to get rid of their children. I mean, we are, we most definitely are.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“It’s been two weeks. That’s like a decade in high school years.”
– Rob Thomas
“When I was in high school, I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria – not necessarily by choice – but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren’t there.”
– Zach Galifianakis
“It’s one of my favorite seasons of the year: Back to School. As a kid, I loved fresh school supplies, new outfits, the change of seasons, and the chance to crack open a new textbook.”
– Dana Perino
“It’s my first day of high school. I have seven new notebooks, a skirt I hate and a stomach ache.”
– Laurie Halse Anderson
“I’ve always loved the first day of school better than the last day of school. Firsts are best because they are beginnings.”
– Jenny Han
“The first day of school is our second New Year’s. It is our day to make resolutions, to look backward to former lapses and triumphs and to look ahead, usually with a mix of anxiety and hope, to the year to come.”
– Mark Edmundon
“If you think your teachers are tough, wait ’til you get a boss.”
– Bill Gates
“On the first day of school, you got to be real careful where you sit. You walk into the classroom and just plunk your stuff down on any old desk, and the next thing you know the teacher is saying, ‘I hope you all like where you’re sitting, because these are your permanent seats.’”
– Jeff Kinney
“You’re off to great places. Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So get on your way!”
– Dr. Seuss
“The most important day of a person’s education is the first day of school, not Graduation Day.”
– Harry Wong
“Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight.”
– Tim Herlihy
“You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.”
– Elbert Hubbard
“The first day of school is always a fashion show. The rest of the school year? A pajama party.”
– Unknown
“School bells are ringing loud and clear; vacation’s over, school is here.”
– Winifred C. Marshal
Funny Quotes for Senior Year and the Yearbook
“Remember, the more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.”
– Iyanna Morgan
“I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever invented copy and paste. Thank you.”
– Stephanie Flores
“Of course I dress well. I didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.”
– Ian Longley
“If somebody ever asks you to do something, do it really bad, so you never have to do it again.”
– Joanna Clark
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.”
– W.C. Fields
“I want to thank me for believing in me.”
– Snoop Dogg
“High school was easy. It was like riding a bike. Except the bike was on fire and the ground was on fire and everything was on fire because it was hell.”
– Randey Chung
“If you like water, you already like 72% of me.”
– Alexandra Vu
“I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”
– Coco Chanel
“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.”
– Oscar Wilde
“I am rather appalled at the limit of characters for this. I am certain that I cannot fit all my thoughts of these last four years into such few cha.”
– Karl Mangune
“My computer screen is brighter than my future.”
– Katia Perez
“Education is important, but big biceps are importanter.”
– Hugh Vo
“I’ve learned to say here when the teacher hesitates while taking attendance.”
– Omotola Omotinugbon
“I don’t always graduate, but when I do, it’s barely.”
– Hannah Goldsborough
“When I die, I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into the ground so they can let me down one last time.”
– Jenna Allen
“I’m sorry, did my shoulders distract you from reading this quote?”
– Victoria DiPaolo
“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know if you’re gonna graduate.”
– Franco Citlalli
“Cheaters never win, but I just graduated.”
– Richard Gilot
“I’m not great at senior quotes. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
– Alexis
“Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?”
– Jessica Enciso
Funny Graduation Quotes
“My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.”
– Lin-Manuel Miranda
“I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes – which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.”
– Art Buchwald
“Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.”
– John Green
“At graduation you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it.”
– Greg Tamblyn
“You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.”
– Andy Samberg
“I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”
– Fred Allen
“A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.”
– Robert Orben
“Now that you’ve graduated, just remember: Bosses don’t usually accept notes from your mother.”
– Melanie White
“This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!”
– Henny Youngman
“Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.”
– Erma Bombeck
“As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.”
– Will Ferrell
“Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.”
– Gary Trudeau
“The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.”
– Russell Baker
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
– Will Rogers
“Your families are extremely proud of you. You can’t imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.”
– Gary Bolding
“To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.”
– George W. Bush
“I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today.”
– George Foreman
“I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant, because the customer is always right.”
– Mitch Hedberg
“Parents, write this down: Many of you haven’t seen your children in four years. Now you are about to see them every day when they come out of the basement to tell you the WiFi isn’t working.”
– Conan O’Brien
“So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.”
– Bill Watterson
Want more funny and inspirational sayings about school? Then have a look at these funny graduation quotes, the short senior quotes here and also this one filled with funny senior quotes for the yearbook.