Did you know that over 6 billion texts are sent daily in the United States?
What are we all saying to one another, and how do we find something interesting to say when we’re texting so often
Some people hate texting, finding it difficult to measure someone’s responses without the visual cues of being together physically.
Other people find it provides valuable time and space to think about what to say.
No matter your opinion, you have probably been in painfully boring text conversations before.
To help liven up your messages, let’s look at the elements of a great text exchange and how to be a better texter.
What Makes Someone a Dry Texter?
Before we talk about the ingredients for an engaging text conversation, let’s talk about what makes a bad one.
Here are some of the top things that might make you a dry texter:
- Giving short responses
- Not reciprocating the interest or energy
- Taking hours or days to respond to texts
- Asking boring or cliche questions
- Overloading someone with information or being too mysterious
See yourself in any of these? We have some solutions for you.
21 Ways To Not Be A Dry Texter
So how do you learn to have a great text conversation?
Consider using the following tips to help you learn how to stop being a dry texter.
1. Play Your Part in The Conversation
A good conversation takes two people, so you both need to make an effort!. Don’t rely on the person you’re texting to make the conversation lively.
Understand that your responses are also a part of guiding the back-and-forth, even if you didn’t initiate it.
2. Avoid One-Word Responses
Nothing shuts a conversation down more than short, disinterested responses. It makes the other person feel like you don’t want to talk to them, and it’s exhausting carrying the weight of the conversation alone.
One-wording is at the top of the list when it comes to the rules of how to avoid dry conversations over text.
3. Respond Promptly
So much of being an engaging texter is showing that you want to be a part of the conversation. Part of that requires responding promptly to a text.
No one wants to wait 12 hours for a response; it makes them feel like you would rather be doing anything but talking to them.
If you don’t have time for a complete response, at least send a quick message saying you’ll get back to them shortly.
4. Don’t be a Cliche
Keeping a text conversation interesting involves asking icebreaker-type questions, but you don’t have to ask the same ones we’ve all heard before.
Instead, mix it up with unusual or unique questions that help you get to know one another on a deeper level. It also shows that you’re interested in the other person.
5. Keep it Fun
Don’t feel you must keep everything serious during a text conversation. Feel free to make jokes and silly comments.
Many people enjoy sharing funny memes or GIFs to keep things fun and lighthearted. After all, laughing together is one of the essential parts of a relationship.
6. Know The Point of The Conversation
When you text, remember that there is a point to the conversation and that you should know what it is.
Without a purpose, conversations tend to wander and fizzle out. Your goal might be getting to know the person you’re texting, planning a date, or discussing each other’s interests — it can be that simple.
7. Add Some Detail
Don’t be afraid to share personal details about yourself if they come up naturally. That doesn’t mean you need to info-dump or share intimate secrets before your relationship is at that step.
But you also don’t need to be so mysterious that you come across as a one-dimensional, inhibited bore.
Just don’t share anything you don’t want in writing that could be shared with others.
8. Add Some Memes and GIFs
Like it or not, emojis, GIFs, and memes have become an intrinsic part of how we communicate digitally.
You don’t have to go overboard, but these visual elements keep things fun and even help express your emotions (especially since the recipient can’t see you). They help add some tone to your messages.
9. Enjoy Yourself
Ultimately, if you’re having a text conversation with someone, likely it’s because you enjoy talking to them.
You want to know them and hear their opinions on different subjects. Don’t get so bogged down in the rules of texting that you forget to enjoy your (digital) time together.
10. Pay Attention
A conversation doesn’t just involve talking — it also involves listening, or in this case, reading. If your goal is to get to know someone, you need to pay attention to their answers.
If you bring up these topics in later conversations, it shows them that you are listening and that the details they share are important to you.
11. Ask Interesting Questions
The best way to start the conversation on an engaging note (while also showing that you’re a clever person) is with an interesting question.
Even more important is to ask open-ended questions that get the other person talking about themselves — instead of answering with just yes or no.
Starting a text with “Tell more about [their job, feelings, an interaction, etc.]” gives the recipient a broad invitation to share details and thoughts about the topic.
12. Be Respectful of Their Space
Finding the middle ground between showing interest and overwhelming the person you’re texting can be tricky.
Much of this comes down to reading between the lines of their responses. Don’t text incessantly or push the same point if they’re not reciprocating your energy.
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13. Open Strong
If you want to know how to fix a dry text conversation, maybe don’t start one in the first place.
Instead of a boring opener like, “How are you?” (or even worse, the dreaded “What’s up?”), start with something personal.
Here’s an example: “I noticed you posted a picture of you and your family on your boat! Have you ever been to Lake Erie?”
14. Share Details About Your Day
If you’re getting to know someone via text, you’ll probably be texting them a lot — maybe even daily.
To spark conversation and show them that you’re thinking about them while apart, share exciting details about your day, such as unusual happenings, funny moments, or random thoughts.
15. Show Interest in Their Thoughts
So you’re asking them questions about themselves. Be sure you also respond to their answers.
It needs to be even more deliberate over text since they don’t have a visual response.
You can show interest with responses like “Wow!”, “That’s so cool,” “That’s amazing, how did you get interested in that?” or “What happened after that?”
16. Be Spontaneous
Want to show someone that you’re thinking of them? Text them a random thought at some point during your day.
It shows them that you are thinking of them in your own time and want to share your experiences.
Example: “I just saw a dog walking with rainboots on. I wish I could have taken a picture for you!”
17. Read The Signs
It can be challenging to read the tone of a text conversation, but some people find it easier than trying to gauge someone’s reaction in person.
Follow how the person you are texting responds to you. If their responses are short, curt, or lacking in detail, it might be a sign that they’re upset or uninterested.
Reading tone takes some practice but makes a vital difference in the conversation.
18. Follow Up on Past Conversations
As time goes on, conversations will get easier. For one thing, you will have past conversations to draw from.
Following up shows that you are paying attention and interested in the other person’s ongoing welfare.
Ask how they’ve been enjoying a book you recommended or if they ever got the chance to visit the restaurant they were talking about.
19. Be Playful
Conversation should be stimulating and fun, so there is no need to be serious all the time. If you’re texting someone you’re interested in romantically, feel free to flirt and joke a bit.
This fun banter helps you read the other’s signals and get more comfortable while you get to know one another.
20. Take It Easy on the Shorthand
This isn’t 2005, and you aren’t on AIM. While there’s nothing wrong with text abbreviations, they can be off-putting or even difficult to understand if you use too many.
For the most part, try to use good grammar and punctuation and spell out most words. After all, how much time do you really save typing “u” instead of “you”?
21. Remember That Conversation Is a Two-Way Street
Conversation is an art, as they say, and it takes practice. If you put in the effort, it will become easier to learn the skills of share-and-response.
It comes easier to some people than others — and it helps if the person you are texting is also invested.
How to Fix a Dry Text Conversation with a Girl
We’ve all been there — texting a girl but struggling to get the conversation going. Dry, boring texts can make her lose interest fast. If you find yourself in a flat text exchange, there are ways to get the sparks flying again:
First, reflect on why the conversation went stale. Did you ask a string of closed-ended questions? Stick to dull topics? Not share anything personal about yourself? Pinpoint the issues so they can be fixed.
Here are some tips to inject life back into the conversation:
- Bring up a funny, memorable, or emotional shared experience you’ve had with her. Reminisce together.
- Ask for her opinions on juicy topics like pop culture, ethics, philosophy, etc. Debate playfully.
- Challenge her to a game like “Would You Rather?” or “20 Questions.”
- Send a flirty compliment or teasing joke if it aligns with your rapport. But keep it classy.
- Share an adventurous thing you did recently. Girls dig boldness and vulnerability when appropriate.
With some effort, you can get the conversation flowing again. The key is asking open-ended questions, listening intently to her responses, and sharing fun personal details/anecdotes. If all else fails, suggest meeting up in person. Face to face chemistry can overcome stale texting.
Final Thoughts
Becoming a good texter might take some time and practice, but it doesn’t need to be complicated. Ultimately it boils down to being engaged in the conversation and having fun.