Emotions right now are high. We just completed a national election that left some upset and some excited. We also have the holidays coming up which will bring a lot of families and friends together. All this means that many of us are experiencing a great deal of stress.
At our core, we’re human and what distinguishes us from robots is that we have thoughts and feelings. These sentiments lead to stress and anxiety that need to be handled.
The Wisdom Research Project
Recently, I undertook a study called The Wisdom Research Project that involved interviews with 60 wise adults. I was able to scientifically define eight distinct elements of wisdom: resilience, kindness, positivity, spirituality, humility, tolerance, creativity, and curiosity. While I identified the eight elements that comprise wisdom, what I was most impressed by was the sense of peace the interviewees had about them despite going through great hardship. It’s that underlying positivity that we all need to develop to get us through this time.
Here are ways to find that positivity and sense of peace to ease holiday and post-election stress.
1. Live In Faith, Not Fear
We’re dealing with a lot right now. As we try to endure our anxiety, we need to lessen the “blow” that we feel by believing that things will work out. It may not be what we want or what may seem desirable, but they will work out. Remember, we can’t control the outcome but we can control the way we react to the situation.
For example, if you’re concerned about family members clashing at the holiday dinner table, think about a world where they do not clash. Think about a scenario where they get along and enjoy one another’s company. Isn’t that thought “lighter?” Doesn’t it put less pressure on the situation and outcome?
2. Release Worry
If you were disappointed by the election, worrying about the outcome doesn’t change the end result. Worry only increases anxiety and affects your outlook.
Have you noticed that your everyday worries seldom come true? Worries lead to unproductive emotions. They need to be recognized and discarded. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but practice will help.
3. Acknowledge The Stressor
The first part of dealing with a stressful life event is addressing it head on. Take a step back and give yourself time to identify what lies at the center of the stress.
Many feel that the sole act of writing down their thoughts aids in the process of dealing with them. If you’re anxious about what the holidays might bring or how the political situation may play out, the best way to address it is to acknowledge it in a detailed way.
4. Make A Plan
Once you’ve acknowledged the stressor, the way to tackle your identified anxiety is to think of ways to resolve the stressors. Think of all options and plan ahead.
If you’re planning on seeing relatives with whom you disagree politically, you need to make a plan for how to avert the issue of politics and, instead, prioritize your valued relationships. Determine how you will steer the conversation in order to avoid all talks of politics, which only lead to heightened emotions and stress.
5. Practice Self-Care
This is a busy time of year and there’s much on your plate. Amid all the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to let slip your self-care. Yet, to function well, you have to intersperse ways to feel peace and joy. It’s crucial to prioritize moments for yourself. It’s a way to keep your cup full so you can fill the cup of others.
We’re human and can only handle so much pressure. It’s essential that you emphasize good diet, exercise, sleep, time with close friends, and moments of reflection. Try starting and ending your day with deep breathing (with a longer exhalation than inhalation) to help reduce stress. It’s what will keep you calm and at peace. Adequate self-care will help you to speak less from your emotions and more from your grounded, centered self.
6. Set Boundaries
With so much to be done and so many interactions with others, boundaries can be blurred. Especially if you’re a people pleaser, saying no is especially hard. Yet saying no while showing consideration for the person can keep your relationship intact.
For example, if your boss wants you to do an extra task, start off by saying how you’d like to help and how important it is to you to be a reliable team member, but state that you simply lack the time. Setting boundaries while letting your boss know you regret having to say no will enable you to stay in her good graces.
It’s a difficult time and that’s why what you do to find positivity and peace is more important than ever. Be deliberate and thoughtful in your actions. Remember to embrace the lessons we can learn from the wise.
Author Bio
Dr. Laura Gabayan is a world-renowned physician and expert in research. Through her Wisdom Research Project, she interviewed 60 wise adults across North America and defined the 8 fundamental elements of wisdom. She describes her findings in her new book, Common Wisdom: 8 Scientific Elements of a Meaningful Life (Redwood Publishing, March 17, 2024). For more information, visit thewisdomresearchproject